Hi there, nice to meet you. Just pretending, of course. You guys are bound to brim with prejudices, and will cut the truth out of this footage faster than I can say “Go play somewhere else, please, and let the grownups get ahead with make the world a better place.”

Oh yes, you heard me all right, all six words of it: Make. The. World. A. Better. Place. There, I said it again. And I will repeat this mantra for as long as it takes.

Good entertainment is nice to have, in itself. Intrinsic value, if you need me to put it in a posh way. Very nice to have A roof, food and good entertainment, that’s all it takes to keep ninety-nine percent of people happy, and we want that. I certainly do. You might prefer them angry, as in revolutionary masses. But that’s your problem. Not mine. Not the publics.

And that’s just the beginning. Campetition makes the world an even better place than your average good entertainment.

Campetition is educational. No, don’t roll your eyes.

Do join me on a little mental trip, please, let’s say five years back. Remember the ambiance, back then?

In those pre-Campetition days, what did the people, mister and miss Average, think, upon hearing words like ‘refugees’ or ‘camps’? What did they know? What kind of emotional reaction did the topic trigger? Did they care? Where they keen on hearing more? Did they focus on individual fates, feats, talents and biographies?

Come on guys, you’re bound to have that kind of background, you do know what I’m talking about. You remember what the ambiance was like in the ‘good old days’ before Campetition.

It took one big leap of fate, on the venture bucks side, to go up against that public mood and bet on empathy.

And hey, here we are. Just like magic. Couple of good scenarios later, mister and miss Average are emotionally engaged, in a totally novel way. They won’t miss one minute of the show, they discuss the tasks over lunch and they bet on their favourites instead of clutching their purses, because all those robbers roaming the streets. Total change of ambiance.

And they’d so love a Campetition participant on their team…

That last one was just kidding, idiots. There is still a fine line, between what mister and miss Average like to think of as ‘them’ and ‘us’.

But the overall ambiance is much improved. Can show you the data, advertising bucks don’t lie.

No, the tasks are not ‘demeaning’. We take great care to keep everything safe and harmless. And we’ve got the records to prove it: Not one injured participant, over so many seasons. According to our occupational security chief, it’s much more dangerous to handle the stage lights or cook for the crew than compete. Practically no physical risk, totally unlike sports like football or tennis. Never mind shows like Ninja warrior or Takeshi’s castle. Campetition is safe.

If I believe the bullshit I’m telling you? Guys, if you want a believer, go find yourself a church. We’re creating top notch entertainment that also improves societal cohesion, based on solid social science, and yes, I’m proud of being at the centre of this enterprise.

Campetition is a chance for refugees to shine, and escape their sordid circumstances. What’s not to like?

Of course you can quote me.